Alerte à Malibu

It really is THAT bad, which is a pity. If it turned out to be a toilet-humor comedy, as was suggested by the ludicrous stuck d*ck scene at the beginning, it could have been fun. But nothing works here, and given the two-hour runtime (and its creators’ increasing inability to keep at least one aspect of the movie together), you’ll suffer through it. Not even the cameos of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson are used in any creative or funny way. And that’s just a few seconds of this thing! (2017-06-18)

A pleasant surprise. I didn't expect much from Baywatch, but I had a great time. Zac Efron and The Rock are a great duo, plus the amazing Alexandra Daddario and a bunch of other ladies you could watch from morning till night. There are plenty of jokes and the vast majority of them are hilarious, I loved the many allusions to the cinematic universe. The story is of course ordinary and the action scenes quite bland, but luckily that wasn't the point here, I mean, other than nice boobs, lots of humour and movie references I wasn't expecting much, and that's what I got. I am satisfied.75% (2017-08-20)

Nope, this didn’t turn out well. I didn’t experience the '90s when Baywatch was constantly on TV and became a bit of a phenomenon, but I figured a comedy for some summer lightheartedness would be nice. However, the new Baywatch didn’t quite convince me. It’s definitely not terrible on a grand scale, but there are many things I would personally improve. Regarding the cast, Dwayne Johnson didn’t fit well for me; he can act, but he needs a decent script and a suitable role. Neither was achieved here; I simply didn’t believe him in the role of Mitch. Among the other roles, only Efron stood out for me. There are a few genuinely great jokes, but for most of the runtime, the film bombards you with one cringeworthy gag after another, which undermines it. The biggest flaw of the film, in my opinion, is the action component. If the main antagonist had been more charismatic and if the explosive, adrenaline-pumped sequences were at least visually appealing, it might have been better. But for that kind of money, the effects were terrible (the digital fire was especially glaring). It really wasn't good, and not even Hasselhoff and Anderson’s cameos saved it. I give it 49%. (2018-08-01)

Sure, it's a terrible piece of crap, but I got exactly what I expected from this movie. It's sometimes ridiculously silly, sometimes ridiculously cool; there are great actors whom I like, beautiful women who made my jaw drop; there's the ability to make fun of oneself and the original series, and damn it, there's even Hasselhoff and Pamela. That's all I needed. (2017-08-22)

Great satisfaction on my part as Baywatch lived up to all my expectations. Humor, finally improved by the R-rating, actually only works when Rock or Efron are on screen, the rest of the jokes just don’t land. Slow-motion shots of girls in swimsuits, a relaxed atmosphere, punchy one-liners, some seriously crude moments, pathetic acting performances by certain people and, most importantly, a completely deliberate self-parody that is spot-on. After all those bad reviews and pessimistic expectations, I definitely give it a thumbs up. (2017-09-01)