Goldbeater

I suppose (and I may be wrong) that what M. Night Shyamalan originally intended was to write a few quirky dialogues to lighten up the atmosphere of this otherwise gloomy film. The result, however, lacks all invention whatsoever. The characters’ words are lacking substance, uttered in the least appropriate moments, concern stupid things and are spoken by totally unsuitable actors. Mark Wahlberg and especially Zooey Deschanel form a very malfunctioning central couple. As for the little girl, despite her being the third main character, present nearly throughout the entire film duration, she is so useless that one almost forgets she is even there. When, at last, there is a glimpse of an appealing character (the hearty gardener played by Frank Collison) who has something to say to the storyline, he suddenly starts to blather about the popularity of hot dogs, leaving the scene after just two minutes. The icing on the cake is that, when the apocalypse and extinction of millions of people become imminent, Alma’s (Zooey Deschanel) main concern is her own remorse for having cheated on her husband (Wahlberg) by going out for a sweat dish with another man. My goodness! What kind of alternative world does this story take place in?

I wonder if it was initially intended as a comedy. Anyway, this film is so dysfunctional in numerous ways that it’s really funny – starting with the legendary monster!

The film begins with an assault of an armoured car by a gang of masked robbers. Seems like the operation is perfectly conducted, until one of the blokes loses it and shoots one of the witnesses, leading to an uncontrolled bloodshed (doesn’t that sound familiar?). Then arrives on the scene a group of cops whose tough commander has family problems due to his zealous work, his wife giving him a hard time (is it ringing a bell already?). This is followed by alternating scenes depicting the characters’ personal lives, police pursuits, the robbery preparation and, at the same time, the peculiar relationship that develops between one of the thieves and the policeman. What comes next is the story-central perfect robbery, in which some loud and long shooting happens between cops and thieves, all culminating in a ruthless duel between the two main antagonists… and in the cringy realisation that we’re far beyond mere inspiration from Heat, we’re literally in a den of thieves! Finally, so as to spare the creators of being impacted and accused of complete duplication of one movie, there’s the last ten minutes which, for a change, steal from another notoriously famous thriller from the ’90s! But apparently, no one cares. Den of Thieves is still blessed by a good technical level, excellent action scenes and decent casting. But this outrageous cloning cannot just be overlooked. Gudegast is a plagiarist.

This is mostly a kind of prank where Tod Browning somewhat feeds on his successful Dracula, also starring Bela Lugosi. But it’s totally fine. As such, Mark of the Vampire is an exciting and interesting picture that stands on its own feet – nothing is how it looks at first sight.

Although William Castle was better known for his ability to attract an audience into cinemas and then play with their nerves in various ways, his films aren’t just money machines. Each one of them has its hidden magic. House on Haunted Hill offers a thrilling experience in an unusual modern gothic gown, a phenomenal Vincent Price and, what’s more, will properly scare you. Castle was clearly a jump scare pioneer at a time when horror films could still do without them. Where did those days go?

Quatermass is back, and he’s at the heart of the storyline this time. Once again, gruesome slimy aliens threaten to invade our planet (and look equally realistic). Here, however, they are bigger, more aggressive and closer to ruling the world. Bernard Quatermass becomes an action figure, and the whole film leads to a relatively explosive ending. For me, it’s a tad better than the first part.

A really chilling experience. The elegance of how Georgie manages to insinuate himself into the household of the unsuspecting family is delightful. And to follow where his efforts are leading to makes you hold your breath. Twisted Nerve is a British horror film which went almost unnoticed in our country (contrary to its notoriously famous and ingenious theme by Bernard Herrmann) and would definitely deserve more attention!

Inferno really has captivating visuals, and some scenes are so ‘beautiful’ they strongly imprint the viewer’s memory. The problem lies in the non-action. Here, a simple theme extends across several episodes, in which the characters are getting slaughtered throughout long and tortuous sequences. But the storyline doesn’t go anywhere. Compared to its predecessor, Inferno also lags behind in terms of actor performance and music. Still, it’s definitely worth seeing.

A fantastic and markedly militant allegory of the Cold War which, for some, may be excessively literal at times. Invaders from Mars is at a very neat technological level (imaginative and colourful stage set combined with brilliant camera work by John F. Seitz), but the alien design is plain funny – especially when they run. Otherwise, it’s a rather chilling flick, and, if seen by a child, an outright horror movie. One big regret: that the creators chose a fairytaly-safe way to end the story.

Naturally, The Long Riders are brought out by a unique cast – the James brothers are played by the authentic brothers James and Stacy Keach, the Younger clan, in turn, by Robert, Keith and David Carradine, then we have the Miller brothers with Randy and Dennis Quaid and, finally, the brothers Ford by Nicholas and Christopher Guest. This is such a realistic set! Apart from that, it’s a relatively conventional western with a bunch of rather tough scenes. Nothing to complain about.